Thanet Classics
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Thanet Classics

A free to join classic car club, based in Thanet, Kent.
 
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MONTHLY MEET: Tuesday 6th February @ The Red Arrow Club
Personalised Club Hoodies ONLY £20 each
Classic Cars at Crampton Tower - Sunday 22nd April
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The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
Latest topics
» Thanet Classics at Crampton Tower - Sunday 22nd April 2018
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeFri Jan 12, 2018 2:14 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics Shows & Meets List 2018
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeFri Jan 12, 2018 2:13 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics November Monthly Meet - Tuesday 7th November
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeMon Oct 09, 2017 10:44 pm by Split-Lee

» Lexus is200 wheels
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 27, 2017 7:14 am by Vintage jay

» 1986 very original escort cabriolet for sale
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 27, 2017 7:03 am by Vintage jay

» Classic Cars at Staple Country Fayre - Sunday 25th June 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 20, 2017 7:14 am by MGT188

» Deal Car Show - Saturday 27th May 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 26, 2017 3:15 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics May Monthly Meet 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 26, 2017 3:13 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics on Margate Harbour Arm - Tuesday 16th May 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeWed Apr 26, 2017 3:12 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics April Monthly Meet 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 14, 2017 4:11 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics on Margate Harbour Arm - Tuesday 18th April 2017
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 14, 2017 4:10 am by Split-Lee

» Crampton Tower Display - Sunday 23rd April
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeTue Mar 14, 2017 4:08 am by Split-Lee

» Thanet Classics Christmas Cruise - Sunday 11th December 2016
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu Nov 24, 2016 9:45 am by Split-Lee

» In other news.... Another local meet up.
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu Nov 24, 2016 9:44 am by Split-Lee

» The OhSoRetro Show 2017 - Sunday 24th September
The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu Nov 24, 2016 9:42 am by Split-Lee

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 The Joke Thread

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robbo86
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11 posters
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AuthorMessage
Hatch DLM

Hatch DLM


Location : Tiptree
Cars : DLM 1 & my daily DLM 1
Posts : 1264
Occupation : Retired HGV 1 driver, Now full time layabout

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeFri Apr 13, 2012 5:28 pm

Do they have Left and Right writen on their shoes, front and back on their trousers.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Stupid10
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Andy

Andy


Location : Margate
Cars : 1953 Rover 75, 1974 Rover 3500s, 1998 Honda CB750
Posts : 328

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeSat Apr 14, 2012 6:17 am

The German chancellor visited Greece. At border control she was asked:

Name? Angela Merkle

Nationality? German.

Occupation? No, just a holiday.
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Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu May 31, 2012 1:30 am

The Security at the Olympic Stadium in London is really tight. I asked a guard to lend me 50p for a cup of tea and he told me to "Do one"
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Number6

Number6


Location : Ramsgate
Cars : Sunbeam stiletto, Singer chamois, Landrover series 2a, Saab 900 T16
Posts : 384
Occupation : Landscape gardener

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu May 31, 2012 8:35 am

A mate of mine text me today to say he was in Margate A+E.

Apparently a Dyson ball cleaner is not what he thought it was!
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Hatch DLM

Hatch DLM


Location : Tiptree
Cars : DLM 1 & my daily DLM 1
Posts : 1264
Occupation : Retired HGV 1 driver, Now full time layabout

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu May 31, 2012 11:19 pm

A man got on the bus with both of his front trouser pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde.The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.

Finally, after many glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."

The blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.

After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow ?"
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Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 06, 2012 11:59 am

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down. You have my word.
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeSun Jun 10, 2012 10:13 am

I went to the doctors earlier."Good news" he said, "Your prosthetic arms are in!""Fantastic" I smiled."We just need you to sign here before surgery." he added.

I stood on the wrong side of a fan today.It sucked.

Me and my recliner... we go way back...

Being a prison guard has to be the easiest job ever. I mean, who's going to steal a prison?
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeThu Jun 14, 2012 10:04 am

My wife is going to a fancy dress party as a rastafarian and she's asked me to do her hair.
I'm dreading it.

Over the last few days I've received 3 anonymous presents:- A bag of almonds, a packet of brazils and a tin of cashews
.I've no idea who it is, but they're sending me nuts.
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Whizz

Whizz


Location : Ramsgate
Cars : 1987 Mini Mayfair
Posts : 130
Occupation : Self Employed

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeSat Jun 16, 2012 5:32 am

Two brunettes and a blonde just broke out of jail, while running form the police they run into an old barn to hide. The first brunette hid up in the loft, the second brunette hid in the stalls, and the blonde hid in a potato sack. The police ran in. One cop ran up to the loft and the brunette says, 'meowwwww'. 'Nothing but a little cat up here' says the cop. 'Okay, let's go check the stalls' So the other brunette says 'moooooooooo'. 'Oh, nothing here but a cow'. 'okay, lets go check over there by that potato sack' so they go over there and the blonde says 'potatoooo.'
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https://www.facebook.com/excalibur.actual
Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeSun Jul 29, 2012 5:40 am

I've just bought a border collie.

The one I already had wasn't bored enough.
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Whizz

Whizz


Location : Ramsgate
Cars : 1987 Mini Mayfair
Posts : 130
Occupation : Self Employed

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeMon Jul 30, 2012 9:16 pm

Number6 wrote:
A mate of mine text me today to say he was in Margate A+E.

Apparently a Dyson ball cleaner is not what he thought it was!

BEST ONE YET! Laughing
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https://www.facebook.com/excalibur.actual
Split-Lee
Admin
Split-Lee


Location : Margate
Cars : 1962 Splitscreen VW Camper, 1983 VW Polo
Posts : 4543
Occupation : Doing as little as possible.

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeWed Aug 15, 2012 5:16 am

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up that read " Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it..
Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car arrived.
The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The lorry driver said, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of diesel!"
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http://www.thanetclassics.co.uk
Hatch DLM

Hatch DLM


Location : Tiptree
Cars : DLM 1 & my daily DLM 1
Posts : 1264
Occupation : Retired HGV 1 driver, Now full time layabout

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread   The Joke Thread - Page 7 I_icon_minitimeSat Apr 20, 2013 8:40 am

The Joke Thread - Page 7 Smart_11
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